Click here for an Mike Rowe’s advice on how to simulate handling a pig. It involves a garbage bag, large quantities of jello, yogurt, marbles, petroleum jelly and dog poo, plus squealing and kicking.

Well, what did you think we were made of? Sugar, spice, snips, snails and puppy dog tails??

Seriously, we all know how things can be staged for “reality” shows. We’re not THAT bad. Well, not all the time. See below for a different image.  That’s my cousin Judson with a friend heading into a jazz concert.

Read it! Read it now!

I want to wish a Happy Administrative Professionals Day to all of the Admin Pros at New Pig!

I’d also like to see a post from one of New Pig’s Human Resources Professionals—or an HR person at another company!—on this question:

Is an Administrative Professional allowed to occasionally scratch a mascot such as myself behind the ears?

This happens with the occasional dog in the workplace …

Image © iofoto – Fotolia.com

… so what are the guidelines for the hog in the workplace?

To be clear, I don’t seek out ear-scratchings. I’m a pro, too. I just want to know the ground rules.

As to any past ear-scratchings that may have happened at New Pig: No comment.

… because it looks just like my baby picture.

It watches me wherever I go …

I should never have told her about Hamazon.

Is that even possible?

Apparently.

He was a huge fan of The Hogs, and this hog is a huge fan of him.

Excuse me while a find a corner of my sty … and cry.

Image © Fotolia.com

I just heard that farmers will soon start using a new type of biodegradable seedling pot and planting cover.

A major raw material for each product is PIG DUNG.

This means that yours truly has transformed from hazardous materials container to recycling container!

I suddenly feel so … green!

Image © Pefkos – Fotolia.com

Here I am in some recent pick-up action.

From sty to sky, here’s mud in your eye.

I’m your Windex Hog too, baby.

Pigs to the rescue, once again. This time we’re helping out the ethanol industry.

Two of its production problems are reducing emissions and marketing byproducts.

Researchers have figured out a way to process distillers’ grains (stuff left-over after turning corn’s starch into fuel) in a way that decreases emissions.

Then they mix the grains with soybeans to create pig feed that’s as nutritious as soybeans alone but cheaper.

Problems solved, oink you very much.

I do love straight soybeans (especially served by my Mom! Sniff, Love you, Mom), but, sure—I could go for some nice soy-grain.

I can see it in Soybutter Dip. Garbansoy Soup. Lemon-Artichoke Soyffle. Soy Yogurt Berry Pops. Mmmm …

Image © cullenphotos – Fotolia.com

What were we talking about?

You’ll just have to watch!

It started with an invitation from a girl in 4H. It ended with a pig’s living happily ever after, courtesy of the famous talk show host and former mayor of Porkopolis. Fairy tales do come true!