Author Archive

When I retire, it will be to this Bay of Pigs

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
Sparky

In the Bahamas, a small herd of pigs have a beach mostly to themselves.

Actually, as much swimming as they do, this would be called a SCHOOL of pigs.

Ah, the surf, the breeze, and maybe a side business supplying Urn Sand

If I ever stop making appearances for New Pig, you’ll know where I’ve gone.

 

Why I struggle to enjoy Groundhog Day

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
Sparky

I do try to enjoy Groundhog Day.

It’s fun. I mean, rodent celebrity? Yes!

It’s local. Groundhog Day Central in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (or Groundhog Zero, as some call it) is only about ninety minutes from New Pig headquarters.

It means good professional jobs for animals in meteorology, cosmetology, wiring, catering, security, hospitality …

And I love the movie. (“Phil?” … “Ned?” … Punch in the face!)

It’s just that I always momentarily hear the words as “Ground Hog Day.” Ground hog … like ground beef. Yikes!

What can I say? It’s been that way since I was a piglet.

Hey, how would you feel about a holiday called “Ground Human Day”?

See? Now who’s got issues?

There’s sleet in Punxsy, PA and at New Pig today. Break out the coveralls and rainsuits! At least Phil the Prognosticator isn’t likely to see his shadow and doom us to six more weeks of winter.

My chainsaw says: Hammy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
Sparky

Another boar-ing Facebook status

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010
Sparky

Anything pig-related catches my eye.

Even Facebook updates.

From Skittles (see below).

Friend the Rainbow, people!

Canadians pioneer less toxic pig poop

Friday, September 24th, 2010
Sparky

The University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, claims to have genetically-engineered a pig that can digest phosphorus better than other pigs.

This matters because less phosphorous in the manure of the Enviropig™ means less phosphorous reaching water supplies and killing fish.

As a swine bred in the United States without this advantage, I sheepishly admit that my office at New Pig has been retrofitted with one of these to help manage toxic emissions.

My only comment on the Environpig™ is …

There’s really a university named Guelph??

Geico finally hires some REAL animal talent

Friday, August 13th, 2010
Sparky

And notice how courteous he is! Well, at least at the end.

And speaking of wind in your face and getting carried away

Is it a sheep pig or a Form-A-Funnel® Draining Tool?

Friday, April 23rd, 2010
Sparky

Sheep pigs are in the news this week (see them in the picture below), and people have been asking me whether I’m related to any of these odd beasts.

mangalitsa2

And I reply, “When you look at a sheep pig, you might think ‘Is it a sheep or is it a pig?’ But look at this PIG® Form-A-Funnel® Flexible Draining Tool

Is it a funnel?

form_a_funnel-1

Or is it a tray?”

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And they get caught up in the no-mess-oil-draining-plus wonder that is Form-A-Funnel® and all thoughts of sheep pigs evaporate.

Usually.

Sometimes, the person persists: “So really, are you related to any sheep pigs?”

Then I look the person right in the eye and say: “Yes, in fact, my extended family does include sheep pigs.”

Then I add: “Now let’s talk about YOUR rare and special relatives. Do any of them look like this?” And I show the picture below.

Back of bull man

Perfect shoes for the hoggy-days!

Monday, December 7th, 2009
Sparky

I just found the perfect gift for a few of my human friends. Yule love it, I Ked you not! Behold my discovery below.

I’ll never understand how you people walk around on those gigantic feet, but it’s fun to think of seeing some of those boats being clad as shown. Get home from a tough day  … kick off the work boots … slip on some holiday cheer!

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Finally, a film to distract men from staring at pigs

Monday, October 26th, 2009
Sparky

Thank you, George Clooney!

Opens November 6. Click here for the movie site.

men_who_stare_at_goats_poster

Pigs and friends rescued from wildfire

Friday, September 4th, 2009
Sparky

You have to hoof it … oops, hand it to this animal sanctuary near Los Angeles. As wildfire moved in this week, the residents were moved to an evacuation center all ready and waiting for them. Nice!

On top of being organized, there’s a regular stream of Hollywood visitors. I wouldn’t mind a scratch behind the ears from Alicia Silverstone.

Just looking ahead … I wonder if they take retirees from industry as well as from farming?

fire-filled-pig

Flames image © Miroslava Holasová – Fotolia.com